Seek help ?
As per my latest micro thought/post, I am finally seeking help! Woooo yayyy yippeee! My new job's health insurance covers a good amount for mental health services so I decided that I might as well make the most out of it. My previous job probably also did but I wasn't ready to face my demons yet then. I have been working hard on improving myself and making changes for the better this past year. I've made significant progress, but I think it's time to let the experts help me. It seems to be the most economical choice.
I plan to post on this blog my reflections of and for these future therapy sessions. The act of typing out my thoughts helps me process my emotions and find the correct way to express them. Having a record would also help me track my progress. I’ll probably make most (if not all) of these therapy reflection posts invisible from the discovery feed. There is a vast difference between having them on my blog and broadcasting each one to the bearblogosphere.
I am very nervous to start therapy as I always am whenever I have to ask for help from anyone. I’ve historically created and exacerbated problems for myself and others because of this behaviour. I should probably have that character flaw checked out, right? Good news for me and everyone in my direct vicinity, my future therapist will hear about this. Here is an excerpt of the intake form I have just filled out for the record:
Hello! I would like to apply for long-term, mostly in-person, and monthly (or every 2/3 weeks) therapy appointments. I struggle with gender dysphoria, social anxiety, depression, and family rejection. I am trans and nonbinary in my early transition journey. I am also a first-generation immigrant in my mid-20s. I would like a therapist who has previous experience working with other people with similar struggles. I'm seeking therapy because I'm feeling stuck on bad habits, thought processes, and memories. This would be my first time working with a therapist so I am not sure which approaches would help me the most.
Some of my goals in therapy are:
- Learning how to socialize so I can make new and long-term friends
- Letting go of past traumatic experiences so I can make space for new and happier ones
- Getting support for gender dysphoria and society's treatment of trans people
- Finding out what I want to do with my life now that I want to live it
- Seeing if it's possible to have a healthy relationship with my parents who I am currently semi/no contact with
-- M. --