i am not you, i will never be
if i retain anything from the way i was raised it will be this.
you showed me how you see the world and expect me to use my eyes the same way. you taught me how to use my limbs and expect me to naturally move them the way you would. you grew my brain so you believe that you own my thoughts.
i tried to be you. trust me, i did. i tried so hard. it was the only thing i was good at. to try and fail at being you. i failed and failed and failed. you never let me forget it. i will never be as good as you are at being you and you punish me for it.
i used to punish myself for it too. one last futile attempt at being your perfect mirror. but i have realised now that i do not exist to be a reflection of someone else. i failed at being your mirror because i am not one. i am a person.
i have disappointed you and i am not sorry about it. i was never at fault. i did not meet your expectations and i am happy for it. i set my own. i am not you and i do not wish to be. i am my own person and i will forever be.
-- M. --